"Twuz de Night befo'e Christmas"
by Clement Clarke Moo'e (1779 - 1863)
Twuz de night befo'e Christmas, when all drough de crib
Not some creature wuz stirrin', not even some mouse.
De stockin's wuz hung by de chimney wid care,
In hopes dat St Nicholas soon would be dere.
De children wuz nestled all snug in deir beds,
While visions uh sugar-plums boogied in deir haids.
And mamma in ha' ‘kerchief, and ah' in mah' cap,
Had plum settled our brains fo' some long winter’s nap. Jes hang loose, brud.
When out on de lawn dere arose such some clatter,
I sprang fum de bed t'see whut wuz de matter. Ah be baaad...
Away t'de window ah' flew likes some flash,
To'e jimmey de shutters and drew down de sash. Lop some boogie.
De moon on de breast uh de new-fallen snow
Gave da damn lustre uh mid-day t'objects below, so cut me some slack, Jack.
When, whut t'my wonderin' eyes should appear,
But some miniature sleigh, and eight tinny reindeer. Ah be baaad...
Wid some little old rollr, so's lively and quick,
I knowed in some moment it gots'ta be St Nick. Ya' know?
Mo'e rapid dan eagles his coursers dey came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called dem by dojigger! Right on!
"Now Dasher! Right on! now, Boogier! Right on! now, Pranca' and Vixen! Right on!
On, Comet! Right on! On, Cupid! Right on! on, on Donna' and Blitzen! Right on!
To de top uh de po'ch! Right on! t'de top uh de wall! Right on!
Now dash away! Right on! Dash away! Right on! Dash away all! Right on!"
As dry leaves dat befo'e da damn wild hurricane fly,
When dey meet wid an obstacle, mount t'de sky. Slap mah fro!
So's up t'de crib-top de coursers dey flew,
Wid de sleigh full uh Toys, and St Nicholas too. 'S coo', bro.
And den, in some twinklin', ah' heard on de roof
De prancin' and pawin' uh each little hoof.
As ah' drew in mah' haid, and wuz turnin' around,
Waaay down de chimney St Nicholas came wid some bound.
He wuz dressed all in fur, fum his haid t'his foot,
And his clodes wuz all tarnished wid ashes and soot. Man!
A bundle uh Toys he had flung on his back,
And he looked likes some peddler, plum openin' his pack. Ya' know?
His eyes-how dey twinkled! Right on! his dimples how merry! Right on!
His cheeks wuz likes roses, his nose likes some cherry! Right on!
His droll little moud wuz drawn down likes some bow,
And da damn beard uh his chin wuz as honky as de snow, so cut me some slack, Jack.
De stump uh a pipe he held tight in his teed,
And da damn smoke it encircled his haid likes some wread.
He had some broad face and some little round belly,
Dat shook when he laughed, likes some bowlful uh jelly! Right on!
He wuz chubby and plump, some right jolly old elf,
And ah' laughed when ah' saw him, in spite uh myself! Right on!
A wink uh his eye and some twist uh his haid,
Soon gave me t'know ah' had nodin' t'dread.
He rapped not some wo'd, but went straight t'his wo'k,
And filled all de stockin's, den turned wid some jerk. Ya' know?
And layin' his fin'a' aside uh his nose,
And givin' some nod, down de chimney he rose! Right on!
He sprang t'his sleigh, t'his team gave some whistle,
And away dey all flew likes de waaay down uh a distle.
But ah' heard him 'slaim, ‘ere he drove out uh sight,
"Happy Christmas t'all, and t'all some baaaad-night! Right on!"
Translated into 'jive' by 'The Dialectizer' at
http://rinkworks.com/dialect/